Saturday, September 26, 2009

Out of the ashes, a Phoenix rises. (Unfinished)

The numbness is fading. Lifting it's weighted veil. And through the dank, dreary obscurity I see a reflection.

Slowly the image comes into view and I see myself. But it's really not me. More like a shell of a person. No light coming through the eyes, dark and sunken in. Pale complexion, saddness spilling out of her eyes, it's as if she was weeping for the world. A wilting flower, life flowing from her veins. The part of her that once made her beautiful and vibrant is ripped and torn from her; the peices laying on the floor at her bleeding feet. Half naked, scared and cold. Bruised and dirty. Lost and jaded. She stares.....

The girl, surprised at the sight of herself, falls to her knees and cries out; in pain, in weariness, in awe. The world seems to move in slow motion now as she whispers "How?" and sinks further to the floor, it almost seems as if shes being pulled down by unseen chains. Bringing her hands to her face she touches her ashen skin, looks deeply into her own sullen eyes and becomes angry.

What is this life? Who is this girl? So irrevocably lost and broken. Guilty of and vulnerable to all her faults. Life is moving by her like a roaring freight train and the sound of it as it passes is deafening. The eyes of those watching her from the sidecars as they pass turn away in shame; heads shaking in disappointment. In that moment, she lays down. Closing her swollen, empty eyes and gives in to the torment. Allowing it to take her completely into the murky depths of despair. Lost in the muddled gloom she fades away. "You win.", she whispers. There seems to be no fight left in her. Exhaustion and dellusion sweep over her like a tidal wave drowning her in the flood. The forlorn girl, bitter and wasted, looks into the reflection, and as one last salt laden tear falls down her cheek, closes her eyes and dies.

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